Tears of the Warrior
by Dizzcity
Summary: Zaraki Kenpachi eventually learns the name of his sword and forges the warrior's bond with it, but at great personal cost to himself and others. Set in the midst of the arankaru war. Warning: Character death, sort of. [Put on hold indefinitely]
1. The Nameless

**Tears of the Warrior**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor any of the characters depicted within. They all belong to Kubo Tite.

**Warning: **Spoilers for the anime viewers, as it is set in the near future of the manga. Also, character death – sort of.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Nameless**

"Gooo Ken-chan!" Yachiru cheered, as Kenpachi threw off five of his strongest men in a wrestling match held inside the 11th Division's training dojo. Ikkaku and the others groaned as they picked their bruised bodies up from where they had landed.

"Come on, you lazy bums," Kenpachi rumbled at them. "Gimme a good workout. I'm not even sweating yet."

"You're just… too… strong, Captain," Yumichika gasped as he got up wearily. "I don't think anyone other than Ichigo or the some of the other captains can handle you."

"Yay! Ken-chan is the winner!" Yachiru shouted happily from the sidelines, where she was eating some candy. Kenpachi grinned at the little girl.

"All right, training over," he growled out. "Go get those wimps at the 4th Division to tidy up your useless corpses." Weak groans and mutters could be heard as the battered shinigami trailed out of the dojo in the general direction of Unohana's division.

"What are you going to do now, Ken-chan?" Yachiru inquired, jumping up to take her customary perch on top of his shoulder.

"Guess I'd better go and do all that paperwork, since I'm in a good mood after that morning exercise," Kenpachi mused aloud. "You want to run off and do something by yourself, Yachiru?"

"No, I wanna be with Ken-chan," Yachiru said.

"Nah, you go off and do something else," Kenpachi picked her off his shoulder and set her on the ground. "Go find out if Hitsugaya's learned anything new about the Arankaru for me."

"No fair!" Yachiru pouted. "I wanna stay with you, Ken-chan. Ken-chan never lets me be with him for any of the _important_ stuff."

"You idiot," Kenpachi snorted. "What could be more important than fighting? Run along and see if Hitsugaya's picked up any strong opponents that may be worth fighting later."

"Ken-chan's so mean!" Yachiru stuck out her tongue at her captain as she sped off.

* * *

Zaraki Kenpachi sighed as finally put the last sheet on top of the massive pile of paper. His good mood earlier had been completely dissipated by four hours of continuous paperwork in the office. He _hated_ paperwork. Next time he was going to foist it off on Yumichika to do. That wuss spent too much time preening in the mirror anyway. A good dose of filling out forms ought to straighten him out a bit.

BOOM!

A massive shockwave rippled through the foundations of the seireitei as a thunderous roar filled the air. Kenpachi rushed out of the office to find that great black holes were being ripped out of the sky of Soul Society, and the Menos were falling. Hundreds of them, speckled here and there with the smaller forms of more advanced hollows and arankaru, dropped onto the buildings of the 13 Court Guardian squads.

The first attack had begun.

"Captain! Captain!" Ikkaku rushed into the office, hastily strapping on his sword. Kenpachi was already fully armed and striding out.

"Ikkaku! Get the rest of the division organised and go to our assigned defensive post!" he shouted in passing to the bald-headed shinigami. "I'm going to go ahead and take on the first few!" Gleeful anticipation flickered at the heels of his sandals. It had been too long since he had been involved in a fight of this magnitude. He needed something to work out the kinks those four hours of paperwork had put into him. This fight would have plenty of strong opponents. He could hardly wait.

"Ken-chan! I'm going with you!" Yachiru shouted, jumping onto his back. Almost by instinct, he extended his arms back to form a saddle for her as he began to run. She slotted into position perfectly, as usual, and together they sped towards the horizon darkened by the landings of the enemy.

As they drew nearer to the army, enemy menos started to appear. Yachiru, using her roped sword like a whip, lashed out at them and destroyed them as Kenpachi sped past. These guys were too weak for him, so he just ignored them and let the little girl take them. She was bouncing happily in her makeshift seat on his back.

"Whee! This is fun, Ken-chan!" she cried out as her sword cut through another 20-foot-tall Menos Grande. "I like fighting with Ken-chan this way!"

Kenpachi grinned as they got closer to the source of the strong reiatsu he had been trying to track down. Resistance had slowly been stiffening as they approached the main bulk of the army. Kenpachi drew his sword and began to slash through the inconsequential flies bothering him in his search for that strong opponent. Yachiru also got off his back and sped alongside him, hacking away at the enemy.

They had cleared a path perhaps ten bodies deep into the army before they came face to face with who he had been looking for.

Aizen Sousuke.

He was standing in a little clearing in the midst of the surrounding forces. The lower-level hollows and arankaru had all pulled back at the sheer ferocity of Kenpachi's and Yachiru's attack on their flank. Kenpachi and Yachiru stood facing him as he smiled at them. Behind them, Kenpachi could hear the first of his division members joining the fray at the fringes of the army. No doubt they were enjoying themselves, just as he would be shortly.

"I've been wantin' to fight you for a long, long time, Aizen," Kenpachi could hardly keep a grin off his face at the prospect. "Looks like you're a lot stronger than you let on at first." Aizen looked calmly at the two figures slowly approaching him.

"Why am I not surprised?" he said sardonically. "Somehow, I knew you would be the first to arrive, Zaraki. But you run a risk, being so far separated from your command." The traitor's eyebrow lifted fractionally and he nodded at the battle taking place at the far end of the courtyard.

"Ken-chan and I are enough to take you on!" Yachiru cried excitedly. "We're going to beat him, aren't we Ken-chan?"

"Nah, I wanna fight him myself," Kenpachi disagreed. "You go find another person to pick on, Yachiru." His eyes scanned the crowd of wary enemies ringing them and selected one at random. "Why don't you try that one?" he said, pointing with his sword at a human-like arankaru with a trail of bone-mask down one side of his face. "He looks strong enough to give a challenge."

"Oh, but I was having so much fun fighting with Ken-chan," Yachiru whined. "All right then," she huffed as she turned towards the arankaru Kenpachi had picked. "Come on, bony-hair. Yachiru wants to play!"

Kenpachi turned back to Aizen, who had been watching the little interplay with amused interest and who motioned the arankaru forward with a little wave. "Tell you what," Kenpachi offered. "Since I know you're pretty strong an' all, I'm gonna go all out this time. I'll even remove my eyepatch for ya."

With that, Kenpachi peeled off his energy-sucking eyepatch, and the resultant burst of reiatsu destroyed all of the lesser hollows nearby. Aizen was completely untouched.

"You are amusing, Zaraki Kenpachi, to think that you could fight me equally," he smiled. "Nevertheless, since you're so determined to have a one-on-one duel with me, I suppose I can spare you a few moments."

"Talkin' big now, aren't we?" Kenpachi licked his chops as he pointed his soul-slayer at Aizen. "Come on, you little traitor. Let's have a real fight!" Adrenaline rushed through his veins and the glee in his voice was unmistakable. This was truly an opponent worth fighting. At the corners of his mind, he could vaguely see that Yachiru and the nameless arankaru had already begun their combat, but he quickly dismissed them from his mind.

Anticipation quickened his heartbeat as Aizen lifted a hand glowing with dark energy. "For someone like you, Zaraki Kenpachi, I don't even need to draw my soul-slayer," the man said. "Kidou arts are more than enough."

"Feh," Kenpachi spat on the ground. "Kidou is for wimps. Let's see how long you can last against me!" With that, he leapt forward for the attack.

"Kidou arts #93: Reiatsu Leeches," was all he could hear before Kenpachi was suddenly covered with foot-long leeches. Kenpachi found his reiatsu suddenly flickering wildly as he struggled to maintain his balance. The leeches drained his power at an unimaginable speed, causing him to feel weaker and weaker with each movement. He tried to strip them off, cutting them away with his soul-slayer, but every time he lifted his arm it felt heavier and heavier. Soon, he could no longer stand and sunk to his knees, losing his grip on his soul-slayer.

"Foolish, foolish Captain," Aizen murmured, approaching the place where Kenpachi was weakly struggling. "Did you think that you could face me alone? You, who do not even know the name of your weapon? Alone, without the help of even your vice-captain?"

Distantly, Kenpachi could sense the flickerings of the battle being fought around him as the other division captains tried their best to reach him. Off to one side, Yachiru was veering erratically, being thrown off-guard by his sudden collapse and hard-pressed by her opponent.

"Foolish, foolish captain, heeding only the bloodlust within you," Aizen reiterated, taking his time to pace around Kenpachi, who had begun to experience dizziness in his efforts to get rid of the last few remaining leeches. Shouts could be heard as the prolonged battle began to shift closer to where Kenpachi was.

Aizen looked around him. "Well now, it appears that this first raid is about to end soon. The other division captains seem to be determined to assault me _en masse_." He snapped his fingers together at someone outside Kenpachi's range of vision, which was beginning to swim. "But before I go, I thought it would be best to leave a fitting reminder of our visit to Soul Society."

"Ken-chan!" Kenpachi heard Yachiru cry out as she struggled in the arms of the vastoorode arankaru that she had been fighting with. Suddenly, everything snapped clearly into focus again. Aizen smiled evilly at the trapped girl, and turned to Kenpachi, who was still lying on the ground too weak to move.

"Foolish, foolish captain," he said pityingly.

And with that, he drew his soul-slayer and stabbed Yachiru straight through her heart.

Kenpachi stared in shock as the little girl whom he had single-handedly raised from the time she was a little baby until the present day died at the hands of his enemies. The arankaru carelessly dropped her lifeless body onto the ground as Aizen and the rest turned their backs on him, preparing to leave.

A mighty torrent of grief and despair rushed through Kenpachi's stunned body, ripping through his throat in a hoarse cry:

"YACHIRU!"

_To be continued..._

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**Author's Notes:** I know, I know. I had an awful, heart-wrenching time writing that first chapter. I love Yachiru. I really do. Something twisted in my guts when I wrote that part. But there's a reason for it, and if I am able to exercise my skills well enough to portray the vision I see in my soul, then hopefully the ending of the story will fully justify the beginning. 


	2. The Meaningless

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor any of the characters depicted within. They all belong to Kubo Tite, or Kubo Taito, however you spell it.

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Meaningless**

"How is he?"

Unohana Retsu, captain of the 4th Division, sighed. "It still doesn't look good. Physically, he sustained only moderate injury, but his reiatsu has been depleted to just over a quarter of its original strength, and he is still in a mental depression that I can't break."

"Will he be able to recover?" Captain Yamamoto continued to ask.

"I don't know, sir. Our knowledge of how to treat exotic effects of kidou arts in the 90's is extremely limited. It is fully possible that he will never be able to recover his full strength. And I'm even more worried about his mental stability in combat. He seems locked away in his own grief, and doesn't respond to any normal stimuli."

"Well, please continue to monitor him and inform me if anything changes," the commander-in-chief requested. Retsu nodded assent as he rose to leave her office. Once he had left, she sighed, feeling the heavy burden placed upon her shoulders by Aizen's destructive rampage through Soul Society. Nearly half of all standing forces had been severely wounded in the fight, and even some of the seated members of the various divisions had fallen to the enemy. The most prominent among them was the loss of the captain and vice-captain of the 11th division, the strongest combat unit of them all.

It had a devastating effect on shinigami morale. Already, they had been understrength in officers, with only 9 captains after the betrayal. Facing off against twice their number in enemy forces, even on home territory, had left each division decimated. And now many junior, less experienced shinigami had to be promoted to replace the losses of their superiors. But the blow to the 11th was the strongest. Madarame Ikkaku had been trying his best as the highest-ranked shinigami to hold the division together, but the entire corps had lost the will to fight. Zaraki Kenpachi – their leader, their _idol_ – the man whom they firmly believed would never lose a fight, had not only lost to Aizen, but had been greatly weakened and even been forced to watch his vice-captain die in front of his eyes.

They had found him collapsed on the battlefield, nearly completely drained of his life force and bleeding from numerous parting wounds the Hollows had left when retreating from the other divisions. It had taken all of Retsu's power just to be able to save his life. But there was no sign of Vice Captain Kusajishi's remains anywhere. She feared the worst.

Things did not look good for the future of Soul Society.

* * *

"_Where did you come from?" he asked. "Kid…"_

_He had been resting after a terrific battle in the Kusajishi district when he had felt a light touch on his right leg and looked down to find a small little toddler crawling over his foot to touch his sword. _

"_This is a sword," he told the little girl, who was batting at the dull side with her palm. "Aren't you afraid?" _

"_It's used to kill people," he said, looking at the corpses around him. There had been over ten of them, common bandits and robbers who thought the odds were strongly in their favour when they faced him. The fools. He would have dispatched them easily, but he had kept hearing some funny noises in the middle of the battle, like a voice calling out to him. That annoying sound nearly got his head cut off, so he had firmly told whatever it was to shut up, and went about the business of defending himself._

_He looked down again at the girl. "It can kill you too," he said, seriously considering it. It would be merciful. She would never starve to death in Soul Society, but she could die of neglect. Better a quick death now than a prolonged existence of agony._

_Then the kid smiled up at him, and stretched out her hand. _

_That instant changed his whole life. He could no more kill her than he could kill himself, or throw away his sword. With one little smile, she became a part of his life._

_**That last instant, she had looked terrified. She was reaching out her hand to him, begging him to get up and free her. Asking him to save her, just as he did on that first time. But he was too weak, too weak, and Aizen was too strong and there was no one else…**_

"_**Foolish, foolish captain," Aizen said, drawing his soul-slayer.**_

_**And he stabbed her right through the heart.**_

The world shattered into black.

* * *

"Come on, Captain, you've got to eat," Ikkaku said, holding a spoon of porridge up to his Captain's mouth. Zaraki-taichou was staring at nothing again, chewing and swallowing mechanically. Ikkaku felt a fist crushing his heart. His Captain had been like this for more than two weeks now, going through the motions of life, but with his mind absent. There didn't appear to be any way to break through the fortress of despair that had built up in his mind.

Captain Unohana had said that all they could do was to wait and hope that eventually he would come out of it himself. In the meantime, she had returned him to the care of his own division. But the division members all shrunk away from the duties of attending him, as if they were afraid to face the empty hulk of a man he had now become. So Ikkaku had to take care of him personally, alternating with Yumichika.

Ikkaku sighed. If only there was some way of breaking the depression. Captain Mayuri of the twelfth division had suggested showing him the corpse of Vice Captain Yachiru as a shock measure, but he had been loudly shouted down by all the others. Besides, there was no corpse. Ikkaku had men scouring the entire battlefield even now, but he was afraid that the worst had occurred. Hollows were hungry creatures.

He grimaced at the thought. That was a terrible way to end, especially for one such as her. Memories of times spent with the Vice Captain flooded his thoughts for a while. He would give almost anything to have her pop up and gnaw on his head again. She brought joy and laughter into a division filled with die-hard fanatics of war. They were crushed without her. A cold, bitter flame burned in his heart.

"Eat up, Captain," he said grimly, lifting up another spoonful. "Come back to us as fast as you can, and then let's go after those murderers."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, that's a satisfactory introduction to the story, I think. Please bear with me if I'm slow to update from now on. I'm actually trying to finish writing the whole story out first before posting, so that there'll be less fine-tuning and adjustments to do later on if I want to change something. And since foreshadowing is especially important in this story, I have to be very careful about it. Nevertheless, thank you for all the kind reviews so far, and hope you felt something about this one too. 


	3. The Pointless

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor any of the characters depicted within. They all belong to Kubo Tite.

**Author's Notes: ** I think I'm a sucker for reviews. That's why I post even when I haven't completed the story yet. But after 4 revisions, I think this chapter is about as good as it's going to get. Thanks again for the lovely and long reviews, everyone. And Sophia Prester, I suspect that you may be right in your guess. Let's see if this chapter will help. :-)

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**Chapter 3: The Pointless**

"… and so, we believe that numerous Arankaru disguised as normal souls have infiltrated Soul Society in the previous raid, waiting for another opportunity to strike at us," Soi Fong finished her report. "Right now, we don't know how many of them there are, but they seem to be staying far away from the Seireitei, nearer to the outlying districts of Soul Society."

"Thank you, Soi Fong," Captain Yamamoto said, looking over the ranks of the division heads present. Each of them met his gaze with a steely resolve, gravely aware of how little strength they had to face this new menace, but yet determined to do their best.

"While we cannot afford to spend our strength uselessly, we have a duty to protect Soul Society from these menaces that roam among us," Yamamoto rumbled. "Thus, I have no choice but to order continuous patrols around the outlying districts of Soul Society. However, we must also conserve the bulk of our strength here, in Seireitei, where it can do the most good." He paused for a moment to consider. "Thus, I'm ordering the 3rd, 5th, 9th and 11th divisions out in scattered patrols. Their mission is merely to patrol, not to engage the enemy. Should they spot a likely suspect, they are to relay the message back to the Seireitei, where the other divisions will respond with full force."

Yamamoto looked at each of the acting captains who represented their division at the leaders' meeting. The vice-captains Kira Izuru, Hisagi Shuuhei, and Hinamori Momo all looked back at him and acknowledged. Madarame Ikkaku fidgeted a little in his place, a bit uncomfortable to be among the others, but nodded as well. He was standing in as the acting captain of the 11th while Zaraki was still numb to the world.

"The rest of you," he said to the actual Captains present, "are to prepare response plans should the enemy decide to attack Seireitei again, whether from the outside or the inside. Also, you are to be assigned to more battlefield postings, as the number of Hollows have increased recently. That is all. Dismissed."

With that, the division heads slowly filed out of the room, conducting low-voiced discussions amongst themselves. Yamamoto sighed. Aizen had used the first attack to both cripple their most powerful division _and_ plant hidden seeds of destruction within Soul Society itself. Who knew what would come in the next attack?

* * *

"_Ken-chaan!" Yachiru cried from his shoulder. "You got lost again!"_

"_Damn it!" he yelled. "That's the fifth time!"_

"_Ken-chan has no sense of direction!" she bounced up and down happily. _

"_We only got lost because we went with your 'intuition'," he grumbled. "Argh! I'm trying another route!" He turned around, took another step, and…_

He was enveloped in darkness.

He tried to scan his surroundings, but he couldn't see anything. It was like being in Tousen's ban kai all over again, except that this time he couldn't even feel anything. He didn't even have his sword. He started walking in one direction, not sure of what to do or where he was going.

He didn't care anyway.

As he walked, his steps grew heavier. There was no purpose to it. No reason to continue any more. Why should he keep on walking? Numbness crept into his soul. Perhaps it was better this way. Staying here forever, in the darkness. He sat down.

A meaningless eternity passed.

"Ken-chaan!" Yachiru's voice came out of nowhere. "Are you lost again?"

"Yachiru…" he whispered. A figure materialised in front of him. Yachiru was there, smiling happily and bouncing slightly with excitement.

"Come on, Ken-chan!" she cried out, pulling at his robe. "I know a way out! My 'intuition' says it this way!" She was tugging him along, pointing toward one part of the darkness.

"Your 'intuition' is always wrong," he muttered, completely bemused. She was dead, wasn't she? He had seen her die… he must be dreaming.

"Ken-_chan_!" Yachiru said, leaping up and hitting him on his head. "Get up! Stop daydreaming around." She hovered in the darkness in front of him and stretched out a faint glowing hand. "Grab my hand, Ken-chan! I know the way out this time! My 'intuition' has been fixed!"

Kenpachi stared at the hand in front of him. It was all a dream, he knew. Yachiru had died, there was no question of that. And yet… he wanted so much to grab that hand, to believe that she wasn't dead after all, and that this wasn't a dream, and he wouldn't wake up.

But he was afraid. Afraid that if he grabbed that hand, he would find out that it wasn't real after all, and that she would fade away again, and he would be left with nothing. He would rather stay in this darkness forever than to face that reality.

"Ken-chaaan! Come _on!_" Yachiru said, stomping her foot. "Stop wasting time, Ken-chan!" Her hand still stood outstretched to him, in the same way it had when she was a baby. In the same way it had when she had died.

Steeling himself to the inevitable, Kenpachi reached out an arm, and grabbed her hand.

And woke up.

Yachiru was gone. In his right hand, all he held was the hilt of his soul-slayer. A wave of disappointment and regret passed through him. It was a dream, after all.

"Captain?" he heard an incredulous voice gasp. Kenpachi turned his head to see Yumichika and Ikkaku gazing at him with hopeful eyes.

"What?" he wheezed. He felt a lot weaker than he expected. His voice lacked its usual spirit. But Yachiru was gone. There was no point. He wished he had stayed in the darkness. There, he could have seen her. Here, there was nothing.

"It worked! It worked! I told you it would work!" Yumichika and Ikkaku were jumping up and down, slapping each other on the back. Kenpachi wondered what the fuss was all about. Yumichika pointed at his right hand. "Your soul-slayer, Captain. I had a feeling that if we brought your soul-slayer to you and let you grasp it again, you would wake up." Kenpachi looked down at his right fist, clenching the hilt of his nameless soul-slayer. "Your will to fight is stronger than anyone else's, Captain. Letting you hold a soul-slayer would wake you up."

Kenpachi looked down at his soul-slayer in confusion. Was it really due to his will to fight? But he didn't feel like fighting any more. Not with Yachiru gone. It was because of Yachiru. Kenpachi knew it, but couldn't find the strength to tell them. She had brought him back, when all he wanted to do was to stay in the darkness. Why? Why couldn't he have stayed in the darkness?

Ikkaku brushed aside Yumichika's ecstatic ramblings and knelt down in front of Kenpachi's futon. "You've been… in a daze… for more than two weeks, Captain. We need you back to lead us as soon as you're able." He in turn began to babble on about the details of the last two weeks, but was interrupted when a stern presence filled the doorway.

"Enough," Captain Unohana said. "The patient needs to rest, now that he's woken up. Both of you, out of the room. You're lucky that I was just about to check on his condition when he woke up."

Yumichika and Ikkaku slunk out of the room, under Unohana's watchful eye. She came up to the bedside and laid a hand on Kenpachi's forehead. He could feel the tingle of healing energy flowing through her fingers, and was slightly grateful.

"Unohana," he said weakly. "What's been happening?"

"Rest for now, Captain Zaraki," she said, soothingly. "You'll need to get stronger first before you can bear the burdens that will be on your shoulders all too soon." Kenpachi found himself relaxing under her ministrations, exhausted even though he had not been doing much. He didn't want to face the burdens that Unohana was talking about. All he wanted to do was to be with Yachiru again.

His eyes closed, and darkness enveloped him once more.


	4. The Mirthless

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor any of the characters depicted within. They all belong to Kubo Tite. Or Kubo Taito. Or however you spell his name.

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Mirthless**

He sat down on the tree root and sighed. He knew he shouldn't have come here.

But he had to get away from the madness that was happening inside the 11th Division at the moment. It had been a week since he had woken up, and Commander Yamamoto had immediately ordered him to start training again. That was when he had discovered it.

He no longer had the strength to fight.

For the first time, Zaraki Kenpachi had lost a battle within his own division. And to the 16th seat holder too. They were planning to work him up in stages, as per his usual warm-up routine – 20th seat, 16th seat, 12th seat, 8th seat, then Yumichika and Ikkaku together. But he was already running out of breath after the brief exercise with the lowest seated member of his division, and the short sparring session with the 16th seat, Aramaki, had actually left him unconscious.

Absolute chaos had ensued after that.

All the seated members were thrown into confusion. They had immediately called Unohana to come, of course, but all she was able to do was to confirm that his reaitsu seemed to be permanently depleted. He would never rise above 10th seat – at the most – again. The entire Soul Society was shocked to the core, and fearful rumours began spreading about Aizen's abilities. What made it worse was that since the defeat had been publicly witnessed by more than 200 members of the division, that battle had made that useless drunken lecher Aramaki the new Captain of the 11th Division. And since another formal challenge to the Captaincy couldn't be issued until a month had passed, they had three more weeks to suffer through before Ikkaku could kick his ass. Morale was at an all-time low.

So he had come here, to get away from it all – to get away from the half-hidden pitying looks of his former subordinates and lesser-ranked Shinigami, away from the weaklings gone power-mad. Here, where it had all began. The place where he had first decided he should become a Shinigami.

The battlefield where he had found Yachiru.

Everything was still the same – a dead tree, a barren wasteland, and the bones of those bandits he had fought all those years ago, half-buried in the dust. But coming here was a mistake after all. There was one thing that was new to the landscape. Memories of Yachiru floated in the wind.

"_Ken-chan! What'cha doing?" she cried, jumping onto his shoulder and nearly upsetting the inkpot he was dipping his brush into._

"_I'm calculatin' our expenses for this month," he said adding up the figures on the paper below him. "Get off of my writing arm."_

"_O-kaay!" she had been quick to comply, sidling towards the door rapidly. "I'll go off and find someone else to play with…"_

_He finished adding the numbers and stared at the total in disbelief. "What! Yachiru! Get back here! Do you realise just HOW MUCH MONEY YOU SPENT ON CANDY!"_

He bit back a bittersweet smile. Yes. That was the reason why he had joined the Shinigami. It cost money to raise a kid, especially one that was actually hungry, unlike the rest of the people in the district. But he wasn't good at anything except fighting. And the only place they paid you for fighting in Soul Society was Seireitei.

"_Ken-chan! Why did you call me Yachiru?" she said, looking up at him with those big eyes of hers. They were sitting quietly on the roof, staring at the night sky._

"_Yachiru was the name of my older sister, kid," he said, gruffly. "She took care of me when I was young."_

"_Just like how you're taking care of me now, Ken-chan?"_

"_Yeah, sorta."_

"_Ooh! Can we go see her? I wanna meet Yachiru-nee-san!"_

"_She's dead, kid. She died a long time ago."_

"_How did she die, Ken-chan?"_

"_I don't want to talk about it."_

"_Oh come on, please?"_

"_No."_

"_Pretty pwease?"_

"_Shut up, Yachiru."_

"_Ken-chan, you're such a meanie."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Okay! When I grow up, I'm going to take care of Ken-chan just like Yachiru-nee-san did!"_

"_Yeah. You do that."_

"But you never did, did you?" he said, softly. "You left me, just as she did." Old feelings of bitterness and sadness welled up in him, compounded with his new grief, until it was almost too much to bear. He drew his soul-slayer and looked down at its scarred and nicked blade. "An' all I got left with is this sword again, just like that time."

The battle with Aramaki kept on replaying itself in his head. How he had fought with the eyepatch off. How he had lost his grip on his sword and had it knocked out of his hands, and then as he lunged for it Aramaki had hit him on the back of the head.

"It's not even a useful sword now," he growled, casting it aside. It clattered to the ground in front of him, and pain jolted his heart. "It can't protect anyone. Couldn't protect nee-san. Couldn't protect Yachiru. What use are you to me now!" he shouted, pointing at the sword.

For a long while, he just sat there and stared at the dull blade. It was glowing pink with the evening sunlight shining off it. That reminded him of Yachiru, and his heart jolted painfully again. Gritting his teeth, he forced the memories down before they could consume him in darkness again. He took a long breath and sighed.

"Ah, fighting's no fun anymore," he said to the wind, as he walked over to pick up his battered soul-slayer. Night was falling, and he was due back at Seireitei. Technically, he wasn't supposed to be here, since the area was under quarantine against those Arankaru that had snuck in during Aizen's invasion.

He picked up the soul-slayer and looked at the reflective surface of the blade. It caught the last glimmers of the setting sun, fading red in the horizon. Red, like blood. All he could see in his mind's eye was the face of Yachiru, frowning at him accusingly. It was his fault that she had died. He knew that. The burden of it almost crushed him. He couldn't bear to see Yachiru like that – staring at him as if he were her killer.

"Laugh, Yachiru," he begged the blood-red image in the blade.

A pink glow started to suffuse the blade, and before he knew it a black streak had emerged from the soul-slayer and tackled him to the ground.

"Get out of the way, Ken-chan!"

Kenpachi stared with disbelief at the tiny figure on top of his body, poised with a sword in her hand facing the Arankaru that had leapt out of nowhere and nearly decapitated him.

_Yachiru?_

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Hah! How do you like that? Although, to be honest, quite a lot of you figured it out beforehand. Guess my foreshadowing skills aren't as good as I thought they were. Oh well, never mind. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was fun for me to write, too, since there was a mixture of comedy, history, and pathos mixed into it. Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter, where (perhaps) more will be explained. ;-P

P.S. Alowl: You've got a very good point – I had forgotten that part. But I've got it covered… I think.


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